This is by far the worst tattoo ever on many levels of wrongness, and if it's not in the book, it damned well should be -

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/05/15/worst-tattoo.jpg

This is by far the worst tattoo ever on many levels of wrongness, and if it's not in the book, it damned well should be -

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/05/15/worst-tattoo.jpg

Wow, both the Bob Barker tattoo, and the linked one above looke like they'rea bout to rip your throat out with their teeth.

Okay, seriously ... if this book doesn't have this tattoo, it doesn't deserve to be printed:

http://img325.imageshack.us/my.php?image=nautilustattoo2sp.jpg

What happened to the woman in the memorial tat? Did she become a zombie? She looks as though she should be mumbling "braaainssss".

Someone who develops a reasonably effective way to remove tattoos is going to make a lot of money. I'm stunned by the number of young people who are basically turning themselves into circus freaks with large, vulgar, and extremely ugly tattoos.
Here in Portland Oregon, it's a plague. Tattoos are being treated as a fashion fad, but after the fad fades, the tattoos will remain.
I've gotten a lot of flack in the local alt media by suggesting that people who want to have their faces tattooed be told that they must have a waiting period of 72 hours -AND- put funds into a escrow account for three years that will cover the cost of a professional tattoo-removal procedure. A few years ago I saw a young man (white, of course, minorities are rarely this crazy) who had a bloody dagger tattooed to the side of his face. Sure it's 'cool' for a few weeks when you're 20 and hanging out in a 'punk' crowd. But what about when you're 30, 40, or 50? You aren't going to be able to get any kind of a real job, ever. You might at best be a roadie or warehouse loader. Forget about ever having a life.
Nearly all tattoos are ugly and stupid. They destroy the natural beauty and symmetry of skin tone. The fact that they have become temporarily popular is simply a nightmare.

By the way, could this be a tattoo of 1960's Los Angeles car dealer Cal Worthington instead of Bob Barker? His trademark TV commercial slogan was "Come on down!"

Replace Bob Barker's tie with a bow tie and he'd look more like rice icon Uncle Ben.

That gallery made me laugh out loud and snort water through my nose: especially the unicorns (I'd like to see a Charlie tat) and the bong smoking dolphin.

I could be wrong, but the "COME ON DOWN" image doesn't look like an ink-in-skin tattoo to me.

No regrets - it'll wash right off.

The commentary in the image gallery is deliciously sarcastic. Love it.

I just happen to be compiling some images of bad tats last week and came across the mother of all bad tattoos:

http://www.funnybeez.com/funnypictures/michael-jackson-tattoo.jpg

None of your bad tattoo-foo can beat mine!

I usually think that tattoos are a good way to proclaim sovereignty of our bodies. Seeing Bob Barker this way has caused me to question that belief.

@#6 Simonetta: "Nearly all tattoos are ugly and stupid."

Wow, tell us how you really feel about them. All of the ones shown in the gallery had me laughing.

My choice to get tattoos was over the course of many years and all of them have a very deep and personal meaning to me. Alot of the individuals I know who get tattooed have "real" jobs. They are artists, service workers, writers, musicians, electricians, carpenters, construction workers, etc. and make fine money doing it. Workplaces are becoming way more accepting of tattooed individuals now that it is way more common. I'm not sure why you are so vehemently against them, but everyone does not feel the same way.

Temporarily popular is a bit of an overstatement, tattooing has been around for hundreds of years, and will continue to be around for hundreds more.

And as a sidenote, the girls I meet seem to think they make me MORE beautiful.

"Nearly all tattoos are ugly and stupid. They destroy the natural beauty and symmetry of skin tone. The fact that they have become temporarily popular is simply a nightmare"

Check this link to confirm your theory that they are indeed "temporarily popular."

http://history-nz.org/maori3.html

Yes, I also lie awake at night due to the nightmare of tatoos.

While it's nowhere near as horrible as the graphic-arts abominations documented here, I still think the worst concept for a tattoo was one that I saw on a shirtless guy at a friend-of-a-friend's pool party:* Just above his waistband, an arrow pointing down, and the single word, "FUN."

*Have I adequately distanced myself from this person? Maybe not enough...

Simonetta @ 6: Nearly all tattoos are ugly and stupid to Simonetta. They destroy the natural beauty and symmetry of skin tone to Simonetta. The fact that they have become temporarily popular is simply a nightmare to Simonetta.

Fixed that for you.

I actually agree with #6 Simonetta, to a point. But I see tons of Tattoos that are ridiculously cool on a lot of people. But, no, it's not a fad, tattoos have been around for a looooong time, and will continue to be here for a long time.

The tattoos on the face things is stupid though. I'm from the school of thought that they should stop at the wrists and neckline if you're going to have them.

And heh, I was in Portland two weeks ago, are you required to have a lip ring if you're under 30 to live there? I find that more disturbingly conformist than having a tattoo.

Hedztalez -- Notice that Simonetta said that a guy with a dagger tattooed on his face would have trouble getting "a real job".

I know plenty of people with tattoos who have office jobs, but they're tattooed on their upper arms, or shoulders, or other places covered by typical office clothing. Not their faces.

Not that all of them always cover their tats. Some workplaces are more tolerant than others. But they're all able to cover up the ink when looking for a job.

unless it's plainly a lifestyle choice( i.e. the person is of maori or native american descent, there is alot of scarring on the person's face, the person is tattooed over his entire body etc...), a professional, moral tattoo artist will not tattoo below the wrists or above the neck. that being said, there are a lot of 'house scratchers' out there that will put just about anything anywhere for cheep. but, you haven't lived til you've seen the woman with the 'penis necklace'. literally a necklace (all the way round the neck) of severed choads, all with their own 'personality"( striped, bent, polka dots, oozing pus, etc...). however, to see a maori warrior in full facial moko and tribal pe'a ( tattooed shorts) is an amazing and beautiful thing. mankind has been tattooing himself longer than we have been slapping pigment on cave walls. some of the earliest gravesites excavated contained tattooing tools. if you want to see some wild piercings, check out PFIQ, or BME. and go get some fresh ink. just not a bong-sucking dolphin. and i think the chuck norris was actually capt. Sig, from 'deadliest catch'.

Simonetta: someone has come up with a well-regarded tattoo removal process. His name is Allen Falkner and he deserves every cent he earns taking ink out. http://www.fadefast.com

Additionally, thank the good lor' that your low opinion of me and my ilk will serve to keep *you* out of *my* way--saves us both a lot of thought and trouble.

I'm so glad that I found a nice, professional and talented tattoo artist that won't give me some crazy zombie tattoo!

CapnMarrrrk: the thing that really makes the dolphin tattoo is that he has smoke coming out of his blowhole. That's amazing.

I think the worst tattoos are when guys get the face of a dead child on their chest/pecs. The wife's gotta love that staring at her during sex. Some people are such pity junkies.

I don't agree with all of Simonetta's sentiments, but I have to say I got a kick out of reading some of the responses to her spiel. Sacred cows always taste the best.

There are some fine and nicely-executed tattoos out there. Unfortunately, they're damn few and far between. Just like when I first witnessed backward-baseball-hat-wearing mooks in pickups listening to gangster rap, the ubiquity of trashy and ill-conceived tattoos is a sure sign that tattoos will rapidly wane in hipness, and soon.

Unfortunately, while you can cut off your mullet, stop wearing white belts or ditch that brakeless deathtrap fixie, removing that tat is going to be a painful and expensive lifestyle choice to reverse.

Achewood's Roast Beef said it best:

"Disneyland was wall to wall five-hundred pound mongoloids with leg tattoos and kids named Desteny"

Says it all to me.

usually, folks who get facial tattoos are not going through a phase. it's more likely that they're train bums who will die before 40. not my thing, but the idea that working til you're almost dead is better than every day being an adventure for 40 years is suspect. one time this dude who was 19 crashed at my house for a week. he looked about 35. one night he went to stay with some other train hoppers i know and came back with an abstract stick and poke on his face. i thought someone drew on him when he passed out. holy shit, that's a bad tattoo.

hedztalez @ #14 - "tattooing has been around for hundreds of years" - Ötzi wishes to push you back a few millenia ;)

The Pegasus and the Dolphin ones were fantastic.
That being said, the next time I'm in the West Village after crushing multiple grande bottles of sake, I could seriously see myself getting the Izod one.

Don't tell me that I'm the only one to remember these...

http://www.theforceintheflesh.com/topten/

#3 and #2 are the greatest, in that they make no sense whatsoever

Nothing in that gallery even touches on the next-level lameness of this tattoo.

Ick.

This reminds me of the time that I got a tattoo of a tarantula on my face. I should've gone with a black widow.

Gheh, I'm not familiar with Bob Barker. I thought the guy in that tattoo was Nelson Mandela.

I love the fact that whenever anyone calls tattoos a fad someone starts blabbing on about the history of tattoos. The current college crowd all getting tattoos has nothing to with the long history of tattoos, every girl getting something horrible inked onto her lower back is an ugly fad nothing more then that.

The really bad part is I almost never see quality work anymore, almost every one of these lower back tattoos I've seen the last 5 years have been sized incorrectly, off center, and blurry. I also remember the days when you would have to search for an artist that would do tattoos on hands, artists would be protective of people and would not let them do anything stupid, another thing that has gone out the window.

Rider "The really bad part is I almost never see quality work anymore."
When I was in boot camp, some of the lads got a little loaded and when out to get tattoos (from the only tattoo shop in the little town beside the base). One got a Canadian flag on his pec. It wasn't rectangular (being both lopsided and lacking straight lines), the red bars bled (making the edges faded and blurry), and the maple leaf was off-centre, crooked and misshapen enough that it was only recognizable as a maple leaf because it was part of a tattoo that itself only vaguely resembled a Canadian flag. And he's stuck with that tattoo for the rest of his life (or, if he got it removed, he's stuck with a patch of skin that is both shaped vaguely like a Canadian flag and lighter than the area around it for the rest of his life).

In the interest of comment section poster integrity (like journalistic integrity, except without the journalism. Also, no integrity) I have one tattoo, and I took months to decide on what it would be, wear it would go, and who I would get to do it.

More info here with a couple of pics:
http://www.hachettebookgroupusa.com/books_9780446582070-Description.htm

The bob tattoo is on my friend Amanda...
Boy am I mad that I missed one of my good friends being on boing boing... Its probably a good thing though, I would have gotten fired for laughing so hard.